Why it’s so hard to change?

Even when we know that a change will benefit us, we still do not change or we simply push-back. Those are natural impulses that we put into effect to protect a comfortable place that we are unconsciously reluctant to leave. 

“It is not change that causes anxiety; it is the feeling that we are without defenses in the presence of what we see as danger that causes anxiety … That “change makes us uncomfortable” is now one of the most widely promoted, widely accepted, and under-considered half-truths around … It is not change by itself that makes us uncomfortable; it is not even change that involves taking on something very important. Rather, it is change that leaves us feeling defenseless before the changers we “know” to be present that causes us anxiety.” (Robert Kegan, Lisa Laskow Lahey, 2009).

Similarly, Mary Beth O’Neil (2007) talks about “stamina to withstand the resistance to the change” that people create to protect them against change.