How to make change possible
What can bring us to the other side of the wall of resistance? “With new visions come new perspectives and new meanings. We notice new things … With reflection comes meaning at different levels.” (Michael Carroll, 2010). It becomes then important to look at things with a new perspective, looking for new point of views and new opportunities.
In this regard, it is very interesting the consideration of Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey (2009) about how to overcome the immunity to change:
“Gut”: it is almost never enough to have a goal that just makes sense. The real chance to achieve the goal comes from a gut feeling that makes us decide that the price we are paying to stay in the current situation is not worth it anymore. This gut feeling is “powerful enough” to finally move us forward. It happens either because the cost of the current situation is suddenly intolerable or because there is a burst of hope that comes from looking at the situation differently.
“Head and Heart”: the change needs to come from a balanced presence of feelings and rationale thoughts. One without the other is not sufficient to make us move and change. Both need to be heavily involved to well balance emotions and thoughts connected to the change.
“Hand”: actions need to happen. The “hand” helps us to have the right mindset to put in place the behavior to make the change real and long-term. “Vision is not enough; it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs.” (Vaclav Havel).
Awareness is the key to open the door to change. Awareness comes through different levels of reflections (“gut”, “head and heart”, “hand”), but the turn-around point that brings to reality everything else is that ‘Aha moment’ of awareness. All of the sudden, apparently, the person realizes that the cost of the situation as it is has become intolerable. Something needs to be done. That realization was not there before, and actually you cannot even explain to yourself why you did not do it before, why it did not happen before. It is so evident and self-explaining that every other step you take after becomes so natural and effortless, like a GPS that suddenly indicates the direction and brings you where you want to go.
Independently if that moment of clarity comes all at once or it comes gradually, it is a turning point that brings the energy to a completely different level. The awareness brings the person to a place of possibilities and opportunities. Everything makes sense and changes thinking forever.
This is something you should be on the lookout for, something you could work on through coaching. The situation changes only when you have the courage to do something different, the change comes from the individual. The contribution of the coach is not to replace you in the process, but simply to help you to “identify your part of the co-created system” (Mary Beth O’Neil, 2007).
